Therapy for Relationships, Intimacy, Anxiety & Shame

LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy for adults navigating that challenges around dating, relationships, intimacy, breakups, divorce, and the patterns that keep getting in the way of connection.

Schedule a Free Consultation

Maybe dating has started to feel like the same story with different people. You find yourself drawn to unavailable partners, overthinking what someone said, pulling away when things get close, or having trouble saying what you actually want. Or perhaps a breakup, divorce, loss, or other change has left you unsure of who you are now and what comes next. Wherever you are, I’m glad you’re here.

I’m James, a licensed therapist (LMFT #154299) providing LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy in Los Angeles with in-person offices in Burbank, West Hollywood, and online across California. I help adults navigate relationships, dating, divorce, intimacy, grief, and questions around identity, while making sense of recurring patterns, building self-trust, and creating more intentional relationships with themselves and others.

Areas I Support

You may be navigating one or more of the following areas. Click below to read more about how I work with them in my practice.

What Therapy With Me is Like

A cozy living room with a beige sofa, surrounded by throw pillows, facing a large window showing a mountain view. The room has warm lighting, indoor plants, a small coffee table, and modern decor.

Therapy with me is collaborative, active, relational, and curious. Rather than jumping to solutions, we’ll aim to understand what’s happening beneath the surface, both psychologically and physically.

We’ll also explore and experiment with new ways of responding that feel more aligned with who you are, what you value, and the relationships you want to create.

I often work with LGBTQ+adults, including people who are specifically looking for a gay therapist. You can read a little more about me here.

Moving Toward Change

My work isn’t only about understanding patterns; it’s also about shifting them. Over time, this may look like:

  • speaking more honestly in relationships

  • setting boundaries with more confidence

  • staying present with difficult emotions

Change in therapy often happens through small, meaningful steps. Together, we’ll build the awareness and support needed for change to feel possible and, over time, more natural.

My work integrates relational and experiential therapies, including Relational Gestalt, Attachment Theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing, Jungian, and Acceptance-Based Psychotherapy.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” - James Baldwin

Common Reasons People Reach out

There are many reasons people reach out, below are some patterns and struggles I hear most often in my practice:

  • I keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners

  • I don't know how and/or struggle to express what I need

  • I overthink my relationships

  • I avoid conflict

  • I feel disconnected during sex and intimacy

  • I'm recovering from a breakup or divorce

  • I feel like I lose myself in relationships

  • I don't trust my own decisions

  • Individual sessions are $175 for 50 minutes. I also reserve a limited number of sliding-scale spaces.

  • I have a deep clinical interest and evolving specialization in grief and loss, LGBTQ+ issues, relationships, identity and sexuality, and life transitions. Furthermore, many clients come to therapy because dating feels confusing or discouraging. We explore relationship patterns, attachment dynamics, and desires.

  • Clients who wish to use insurance for their therapy will be provided with a monthly statement that may be used to submit a claim for out of network coverage.

  • I work with a variety of people, including adults, older adults, emerging adults, teens and couples. As a queer-identifying clinician, I also enjoy working with individuals who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community and the challenges of such intersections, including identity and sexuality, stress, relationships, and depression, among others.

  • Yes. A significant part of my practice is working with gay and LGBTQ+ adults around dating, relationships, sex, intimacy, identity, shame, and major life transitions.

  • No. My practice is LGBTQ+ affirming, but I work with adults across identities and backgrounds.

  • The length of therapy varies from person to person. Typically, we start by engaging in weekly sessions and may adjust to every other week or monthly sessions, depending on how we feel about the therapy progress. However, we will discuss this in collaboration during our initial session and will continue to check in on this topic throughout our work together.

  • We'll schedule a 15-30 minute consultation to determine if we're a good match. We'll discuss your therapy goals and how I can support you before deciding to move forward. If we do, we'll collaborate on the initial session details so that you feel confident in our future work together.

  • Yes. I offer LGBTQ+ affirming therapy for adults in Los Angeles with in-person offices in Burbank‍ ‍and West Hollywood. I also have clients that prefer online.

  • Yes. I offer telehealth sessions to clients throughout California. All are welcome.

  • AI tools can be helpful for reflection, learning new ideas, or putting words to what you’re feeling. Many people find it easier to explore thoughts this way, and it can be a useful starting point.

    In my work, I invite clients using AI between sessions to bring in something they’ve written or discussed with it so we can reflect on it together. It can be a helpful way to notice patterns, clarify questions, or explore different perspectives.

    At the same time, therapy offers something that technology cannot fully replace. Change often happens through a live relationship with another person who can respond in the moment, notice emotional reactions, and sit with you through experiences that are hard to face alone. In therapy, we work not only with thoughts, but with tone, body language, pauses, and the ways you relate to another human being in real time.

Commonly Asked Questions

Whether this is your first time exploring therapy or you’re seeking a fresh approach, I welcome you. If you would like to connect and see if we may be a good fit for working together, book a time with me here or if you prefer, fill out the form below and tell me a little bit about you and what you hope to address in therapy. From there, we’ll schedule a free consultation on Zoom.

I try to respond to all messages within 24-48 hours.

“To be human is to need others, and this is no flaw or weakness.” - Dr. Sue Johnson

Interested in Getting Started?

A winding wooden boardwalk through a grassy field with mountains in the background.

Burbank: 3808 West Riverside Drive.

 

West Hollywood: 7720 Sunset Blvd.

 

Some Helpful Resources

A view of a wooden bookshelf filled with a variety of books, with a row of books standing upright in the foreground.

Books

  • Sex educator Erica Smith explores how Western culture shapes our understanding of sex, intimacy, and relationships. Drawing on research and lived experience, she examines how many of us were taught about pleasure and connection through shame-based sex education, and how those early messages continue to impact us. This book offers a clear path toward developing a more grounded, informed, and empowered relationship to sex and intimacy.

  • This book by David Richo offers practical guidance on emotional maturity, focusing on self-awareness, personal growth, and building healthy relationships through responsibility, self-compassion, and mindfulness.

  • A collection of poems by Yung Pueblo (Diego Perez) focused on introspection and reflection of self and growth. A book that I come to often for inspiration and connection to self.

  • Steeped in meditative practices and guidance, poet and teacher, Stephen Levine, offers a gentle invitation to be with awareness, slowing down and being with with is; presence.

Close-up of a professional black microphone suspended from a mount against a plain light background.

Podcasts

  • This podcast episode with Dr. Lehmiller, a fellow at the Kinsey Institute and social psychologist, and Dr. Mogilski, explores a new study that identifies the most common and effective relationship strategies among consensually non-monogamous (CNM) people. The show also explores insights from the Multiple Relationships Maintenance Scale, including how CNM individuals navigate jealousy, resource sharing, and what monogamous couples might learn from their practices.

  • In this episode of the “Sex and Psychology” podcast, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a psychologist and researcher, and Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a psychologist and sex therapist, discuss how and why a decline in sex and intimacy may show up in long-term relationships. The episode also delves into how a decline in desire can be addressed and rediscovered by getting curious.

  • In a two-part series, Tara Brach, a psychologist and teacher, discusses our body's language and finding deep connections to our somatic experiences through everyday presence.

  • In the podcast Sounds True: Insights at the Edge, host Tami Simon speaks to Terry Real, a family therapist, to discuss building emotional intimacy and communication skills through relationship challenges.

  • Relationship expert and therapist, Esther Perel, sits down for dinner with a group in various open and poly relationships. What ensues is colorful and insightful dialogue on how relationships work in the modern day Western world.

An iPhone with a white screen displaying the red YouTube play button logo against a white background.

Videos

  • Social psychologist, author, and research fellow at The Kinsey Institute, Justin Lehmiller, talks with sex and relationship psychotherapist, Dr. Nicole Thompson, about intimacy, relationship agreements, and the challenges people face in modern dating and long-term relationships. The discussion focuses on how thoughtful agreements and honest dialogue can help people build relationships that feel more authentic, grounded, and connected, without compromising freedom and growth.

  • This excellent video and podcast with Psychotherapist, Dr. Becky, explains how many of the struggles we have in relational experiences trace back to their own childhood experiences, and suggests how we can reparent ourselves by working with shame and becoming sturdier internally to help cultivate a more meaningful connection to ourselves and in our relationships.

  • Jeff Foster, a spiritual teacher and author, discusses our negative cycle of internal dialogue and holding and acknowledging the emotions of sadness, hurt, and anger, rather than judging and locking them out aiding in our healing and growth.

  • KC Davis, a therapist and author, discusses the morality that we are often assigning to care tasks in our everyday life, especially when we are struggling and experiencing periods of anxiety, depression, and grief, among many others.

  • In this filmed interview, world-renowned Jungian psychoanalyst, Dr James Hollis, explores the call from within to change your life. He asks searching and demanding questions such as: What is your soul's deepest desire? What does it mean to psychologically grow up? Why is change so difficult and so frightening?